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If Anal Cunt did a Philly sports-themed record
I Threw Batteries at You Because You’re Ugly
You Look Like Pat Burrell Slept with Your Mom
Donovan McNabb Throws Like a Sissy
Kyle Scott Plagiarized His Own Name
Meech One Made Out With Domonic Brown. Twice.
David Murphy is a Dapper Gent. Who I Want to Punch in the Fucking Face.
If the Phillies Don’t Win Tonight I’m Going to Kill Myself
Andy Reid is a Fat Fuck (But Your Mom is Fatter)
You Look Like Creighton Rabs Tried to Stalk You On the Internet
Your T-Shirt Ideas Were Stolen By Crossing Broad. You’re Zoo With Roy and The Fightins.
No One Gives a Shit About Your Life (Ode to Danny Cohen)
Don’t Go To McFadden’s (If You’re Not White)
I Got Pregnant at Jeff Carter’s Beach House (I’m 16)
Hey Mike Vick I’m a Big Fan (Can I Get a RT?)
Ryan Howard Has a Bad Body Type (But Not as Bad as Your Mom)
Santa Claus is a Fucking Alcoholic
I Vomit on Children Because They’re Ugly
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